The Man in the Fish Hat

I have to constantly remind myself that it takes all kinds of people to make up this world. The man in the fish hat is a rare breed! I believe he is a yankee but I'm not about to strike up a conversation with him to find out. He graces my store with his presence every week, sometimes in multiple trips. My co-workers and I see him pull up in his van and we know to emotionally prepare ourselves for what is about to go down. 

Just to give you a visual- The man in the fish hat is an older fella, probably in his 60's I'd say. He is awfully hairy, his face is hairy, his head is scraggly hairy...ugh. He looks like he smells, but I haven't gotten close enough to sniff. He is on crutches (I have no idea if it is an injury or if he opted for crutches instead of a walker... strange). He is always, always, always wearing a blue hat with neon colored fish all over it. Never fails! Real tacky- reminds me of something Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's would wear. Did I mention he is the rudest person I have ever met? And LOUD! 

Lovely, I know. Okay, here is his grocery store routine. He hobbles through the automatic sliding doors and heads straight for the Mart Cart (you know... that little motorized, hoveround type thing). He plops his crutches in the basket and off he goes. At this point, my eyes are rolling so far into the back of my head. Time goes by and he is done shopping, headed for the check-out line. Conveniently, he ALWAYS has to belch while paying for his groceries. Conveniently! Every single time, never fails, just when you think he's not going to do it, he does it! It is so nasty of a burp, I can almost taste it. I feel the chunks rising in my throat as I place his bags in the mobilized cart. It's not a subtle burp either... it is very loud and gurg-ly! "One day I'll say something to him... one day!!" I say to myself. When that day comes I'm sure it'll be worth writing about!